It's not like I lost, but...

Yesterday was the Mercedes Marathon, and I participated in the half-marathon. I trained so much harder this year, and I worked on my speed, however I didn't do enough strength training, as it turns out. It started like all races do, me chatting with other racers before the gun goes off, getting myself pepped up listening to my new play list. I remembered this year to start off slow, because I found during my training this year that it is better to start slow and finish fast. I took an extra rest day to because my knee hurt, but since it didn't hurt on race day, I didn't wrap it. I was running along just fine until about mile eight (8) I couldn't run any longer, I was walking at what I thought was a 4MPH, and every time I tried running, I couldn't, it really just hurt too much. I noticed that I was ahead on my previous times whenever I passed a mile marker that had a timer on it. I ended up stopping at a medical tent to get my knee wrapped, thinking that surely getting it wrapped would help me get back to running. Well, I was at the medical tent for about 10-15 minutes, and got it wrapped and then took off running only to see that I couldn't run anymore. I continued at a fast walk, irritated by people passing me, and I kept telling myself, "you're not racing them, you're racing yourself, and you are ahead..." I also tried to channel Mark Ingram, Running Back of Alabama's Crimson Tide, he is able to push through other line backers to get the extra yards for his team, surely I can push through the pain and finish in the two-hour mark, and beat my time from last year which was 3:14. Finally I finished mile 13, and continued through the .1 mile, hoping to finish, even though I was walking, in the 2-hour mark. They said my name as I passed, and I cheered for myself and waved at Daddy Princess and Big Girl Princess and Little Girl Princess, smiling at them cheering for me. I told Daddy Princess that my knee hurts, and it wasn't good, and I crossed the finish line at 3:01. Faster than last year by 13 minutes, but not at the 2-hour mark like I wanted. I fought the tears as I got my finishing medal, and was greeted by my family, and I just broke down and cried. My knee hurt, I didn't finish in my goal time, and I felt like I failed. Daddy Princess reminded me, however, that even with a bum knee I still beat last year's time. Okay, so an update of my emotions... I am upset about my time being lower than my goal yesterday, but I have decided that next year that half-marathon will be my bitch, and I WILL finish in the 2 hour mark. I won't stop at some medical tent to get my knee wrapped up, I'm sure that affected my end time. Also, I need to do more strength training, as much as I hate it, it will help me to a stronger finish. Next year that race will be mine, it has to. :)